i woke in a small bit of terror last night when i could have sworn i heard someone whisper, "now!"
now what? i tensed for something to happen, but nothing did.
i think it was actually some wierd sound escaping from my own mouth, but i lay plastered to my bed for a few moments until i felt safe, then i got up and had myself a drink of water. lately i haven't had the same beautiful sleep i was enjoying here for so long, and as a result, i'm a slave to my afternoon nap. i don't mean i take a nap; a nap takes me. i wake up and realize i fell for it again. yesterday i was reading after school and was fighting really hard because i had to meet with my supervisor a little bit later in the evening. it was all i could do not to drop the book and pass out before it hit the floor. today i was lucky enough to finish the book before i went under.
it's shocking, but i'm heading home for a little visit in under two weeks, in fact, it's only 11 days away. last time, i surprised even myself by bowing to other drivers whilst in my car (typical in japan but absolutely hilarious to my mother), bowing to someone who let me cross the street in front of their car (quizzical looks), and feeling completely incapable of walking on my mom's white carpet without taking off my shoes.
on august first, i'll have been in japan for a full, round year. this morning i looked through kate t. williamson's A Year In Japan, which i haven't gone through in some time, and i realized i knew personally about each of the little topics she artfully presents. it's the same old story: seriously!? a whole year has passed since i threw up in the bathroom of a posh hotel because i was so scared of my total life change? a whole year of firsts. four seasons of crafting a home from the remembered and the fresh, eating weird things like squid crackers and shaved ice with azuki beans and condensed milk, getting naked with my fellow teachers as a matter of course, and falling head over heels for my students.
i'm just glad i have another.