why i miss pizza

everyone loves pizza, right? it has been one of my favorite foods for as long as i can remember, and even though i worked at a pizza restaurant before college and ate pizza twice a day for a year, i never tired of it. they love pizza in japan too, and they even have home delivery...but you might be dismayed (as i was) to see what they'll serve on a crust. i know japan is a little corn-mayonnaise-and-tuna-happy, and those are typical toppings, but it gets even more grim. consider the 'juicy shrimps with mayonnaise flavor' pizza. it has tomato mayonnaise sauce, shrimp, pineapple, parsley, bacon, and herb cheese. not so bad, you say? there's more...


the 'salsa dog pizza' made me chuckle. with onion, peppers, tomatoes, sausage, black pepper, chili powder, salsa, and you guessed it, mayonnaise, it doesn't sound so bad, but for the life of me, i can't see any of the alleged vegetables in the photo. all i see is wieners; japan is wiener-happy too.


moving on to the 'seafoods garden.' it starts off safe with onions and peppers, but at shrimp the scale begins to tip. next we have squid (YUCK), octopus (meh), black olives (UGH), and right again, mayonnaise. throw it all together and it sounds like a nightmare, but the award for most revolting goes to the next one, i think.


meet the pepPEEroni combo: hamburger, scrambled eggs, teriyaki sauce, parsley, and of course mayonnaise. never mind that it doesn't contain pepperoni, it just looks horrible. if you aren't having problems keeping your dinner down by this point, maybe you can stomach dessert.


for dessert we have diarrhea pizza with chunks of pineapple floating in it. and it's overflowing, great. get the plunger.


at the very least they serve sweet potatoes and hagen dazs as side dishes, but i miss the pizza i'm used to: heaps of vegetables and no mayo!