Tuesday, February 19, 2008

carry the zero

after dreaming last night that i had just been sent to jail for four months, i decided i needed a treat this morning. for breakfast i broke out the french bread and boursin cheese. i discovered boursin this year when danielle brought it to my thanksgiving party. after two days of cooking and two strong martinis, all that went through my head when i tasted it was, "MORE!" that may have been the only thing that escaped from my mouth too. it tasted amazing on toasted bread with sliced tomatoes, probably the best breakfast i've had this year. the only drawback is morning garlic breath--yech!
i too have been struggling with the winter blues, but i'm trying to keep my spirits up. the writer's strike in hollywood is over; that's cause for great celebration! i'm not sure i could go on without my weekly transfusion of Bones, Numb3rs, and [Psych, Law and Order Regular, CI, SVU, Chuck]... so i watch a lot of tv. it, uhhh, keeps my english current.
the weather is getting better finally, and the days aren't getting dark until 6pm now. the endless japanese school year is grueling, though. how do they ever feel really rested? i never do. but this morning as i walked through the actually warm sunlit morning, i was reminded that the winter will not last forever, nor will this long lonely season of my life.
i just turned 29, the age my mom was when i was born. weird, because though i've always wanted babies someday, i've never wanted them now until very recently. in reality, babies are still probably a long way off for me, but it's nice to feel more confident of my adult status. it's nice to feel capable of raising children. i don't want to do it alone, though, as my mom did. so i wait.

1 comment:

  1. hi girl,

    yummy cheese, i'll have to try that! i finished my job at reach on valentine's day and have been since enjoying extended vacation. i randomly flew to CO and went skiing at keystone yesterday with my brother. the thin air, even though it got to my head and stomach this time around, always warms my heart. plus the snow since we don't get it much in tacoma. my heart is happy! i'm also entering baby world on monday becoming a nanny for 2 little ones. it's pulling on my heart strings too, but grad school is in the way at the moment. maybe you can find some babies to hang with...talk to you later! love ya.